Saturday, April 25, 2009

New Assignment form Savage Beauty (Utah Savage)

Okay gang (pick your colors and your own gang name and go with it, your all inducted, deputized and un-reverse-hannitized), I have received my marching orders.

Assignment "Marriage for All" is in effect. Again, grab your ass chaps as the fundies are about to huff and puff over in Gainesville Florida.

After recently having lost a battle over gay rights in Gainesville, Florida (I am a person, not a gator), the religious right around here (with the help of the Mormon church) is in a tizzy that had some stoking of its fire when the Tea Party came to town. That Tea Party was properly protested and now a new assignment has emerged.

As with most of my street performance, a costume will be involved. I'm thinking (upon Utah Savages advice) that the costume in question will be a WEDDING DRESS. How you ask: well I don't know, but I know I can get one.

My worry is this: where do I go....... Okay so a church it is, but which one? Okay how about Rock Ministries. The name says it all, and those deusche (spelling please, I never use this word) bags over there are horridly rich off donations from their goon squad. They go against everything the bible says about money, idolatry and worldly possessions, and I am sure they are Teh Gay Haters. (PS: I don't believe the bible, but they do and don't follow it).

So I have the place and the time (anytime is good, I just have to make it to the church services).
Now I need a good sign (help) and legalization of marijuana so I can do this baked.

When is mother's day? Maybe my sign can say, "But mom what I really want for Christmas is you to let me get married?"

Or we can just go with "Jesus Loves me. I am the prostitute in the Bible". If we go with this then maybe the teddy would be best.

I don't know but I am posting this because I needz your help on some creativity. I am positive I can get some friends to help me and in fact I am thinking if my friend Ivy will, we can dress her up in my tuxedo (I bought that one for going to court-and it worked well-I got let off because I magiced them and they never saw my record and let me go scott free because all they saw was a guy in a fancy suit-its sad, all the black guys went to jail that day for the same thing-pot). That way it can be like totally mind fucking to them that its a guy and a girl, just not THEIR version of a guy and a girl.

The other issue is this: You know how they say that if gays are allowed to get married then we as a society are gonna start having animal sex? Well I think they might have a point because I want to take this where the tea bagging thing went-to planet wingzarro. My idea is to wear the wedding dress (the wedding dress is in this one Utah, don't worry) with a sign that says, "Now that a Gay in "fill in blank" can get married, can I biblically take my pet donkey for a lover", or something along those lines. This is where I am really counting on you all: is this over the edge? Am I feeding a fire that may back fire, or is this the kind of ridiculousness that we should mock?

Balls in, all the way......

Your Court.

3 comments:

Utah Savage said...

Be careful out there! Those religious nuts are passionate about their homophobia. They are gun serious. They are assault weapon serious. They are so serious, I now regret making this suggestion. Save the wedding dress for an event where there will be protection for you. Now I feel responsible for you.

Unsolved: Mr. E's Blogspot said...

Wow. True that, but I gotta say, I've had the guns wielded in my face by 2 folks. One would have shot me dead, no worries, the other was a young frat boy trying to make a show of themselves.

I am no scared of showing others their hypocrisy, as much as I am of offending decent folks.

Your point is taken and will be thoroughly reflected on as my life is most sacred, but really, I've lived in war zones.....we are doing pretty good here in the old U.S.A.

Plus, I have mastered the art of non-violence. i can literally talk myself out of court, and though I don't believe in god, She's got my back.

Wow. I really don't want anyone to worry about me. I am very responsible, not gullible- though my smile got me through drag dress with fundies and pretty aware of my surroundings. Plus, there's always video. A camera scares away 99% of crazies, my weird gets the 99% of the 1% left over, and the rest is entertainment.

I have always been a line pusher and a line usher. It's the same thing without a P.

Peace Utah.

So which costume then?

PS: I know very well whats up with safety. I've made it this far only getting beat up by two different groups of white guys.

That's great for my smart ass!

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