I'm back

I started really smoking (not that fake pick up my father's old cigarette smoking) when I was fifteen. After the hooker, after the booze and before the weed. I hope when I run for office the people reading this can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm just honest and pragmatic in my honesty. Plus Joan Walsh said pragmatic and I like the word. Anyways, fifteen. I remember making a calculation and telling myself that if I ever smoked past the age of 30, I would have smoked for more than half my life. I am 30 and a half.

The word was born,
the seed has fruited,
the bed is made,
my mind not diluted.
I am strong,
The smoke is weak,
I'll fuck it in the ass
week after week. (clearly this is a side effect of the other narcotics that I am on to cope with my other addictions).

Okay, so seriously. I made it. I have been off the ash and hooch for 5 days bitches!!!!

best part (except for my health) is that I texted every woman I knew and asked them to give me a reason for quiting (along attractiveness lines) and boy do I have some funny as shit friends:

here are the highlights:
1. From a smoker: Its a dirty nasty unhealthy habit. If u don'tcare about ur body how u gona care about ours?
2. Intercourse with a smoker is way lame.
3. Batman didn't smoke (I love Batman)
4. Another smoker: Felipe, I am roud of you! It is gross, smelly, kils you and expensive. Day 4 has always been the hardest for me. After my b-day in a few weeks, Im quitting for good!
5. From an ex: I can't tell you it's unattractive but I can tell u it will improve your sexual performance.
6. After saying: Yoo back off, I still smoke: Lol. Your doing a wonderful thing and I just wish I had the wil to do it too. I'm very proud of you;). Keep up the good work.
7. From an ex: Kissing a smoker is ike icking an ashtray.
8. From an onine crush that never met me: yo Feipe youre too sexy to smoke. Stay hot, and stay away from the smoke:) I'm proud of you!
9. And one text in a hot voice saying its so sexy that I don't smoke anymore, etc, etc.

I love you all and I just wanted to share, cause this is some funny ass shit.

Updates as they happen.

The original is about homosexuality: here's the one done for heterosexuality, then my favorite, the one for fundies. All from Dispatches from the Culture Wars

What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

When and how did you decide you were a heterosexual?

Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?

Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

Do your parents know that you are straight? Do your friends and/or roommate(s) know? How did they react?

Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can't you just be who you are and keep it quiet?

Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyles?

A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual teachers?

With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

Statistics show that lesbians have the lowest incidence of sexually transmitted diseases. Is it really safe for a woman to maintain a heterosexual lifestyle and run the risk of disease and pregnancy?

Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?

Would you want your child to be heterosexual, knowing the problems that s/he would face?





(THIS IS FROM THE COMMENTS SECTION) by: watercat

What do you think caused your fundamentalism?

When and how did you decide you were a fundamentalist?Is it possible that your fundamentalism is just a phase you may grow out of?

Is it possible that your fundamentalism stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

Do your parents know that you are fundamentalist? Do your friends and/or roommate(s) know? How did they react?

Why do you insist on flaunting your fundamentalism? Can't you just be who you are and keep it quiet?

Why do fundamentalists feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyles?

A disproportionate majority of child molesters are fundamentalist. Do you consider it safe to expose children to fundamentalist teachers?

With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable and/or happy relationships among fundamentalists?

Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were fundamentalist?

Would you want your child to be fundamentalist, knowing the problems that s/he would face?

R6w&eurl=http://www.bloglines.com/myblogs_display?sub=75962117&site=4653761&feature=player_embedded

Hero dog



with a soul

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/cca5e8a78a/protect-marriage-protect-children-prohibit-divorce-from-jonathan-smith

Best Video I've ever seen....................

Last one for the day. Not my work. Go to links I have to see whose work!!! EXPLORE

more comedy

Humor me Pleaze!!!!

not my work, but from the links I have >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>that way

This should just be an add on T.V. that plays over and over again.

Okay. That's It. This takes the cake. Loop it and poop it, all over the American T.V. airwaves.

Now switching subjects, I'd like to talk to my old American friends. I have found a terrorist amongst us. He is a self described big tall hippie, or code word for Terrorist loving, communist rubbing, afghanistostan ass rubbing marxist, otherwise known as my best friend: DAVE.

He's the afghany wanna be up top, but ladies, that is not all this regular love wonder machine has to offer. He is also a gerbal lover. If you to find gerbals incredibly and undeniably permisable lovers, then this is your gerbal mate, but he is taken. His wife is a wonderful woman and nothing bad can ever be said about her, so moving forward. being married and a desicable man himself, Dave has decided to not cheat on his wife with any sexed identity gender of a similar species, but exosppecies wise, the ball (quite leterally as he is one nutted (like a terrorist acorn nut)) is in play.

I truly love this guy with all my being and can't wait to post his gerbal love diaries. Seriously. I can learn photosho for this reason alone. PS: students: this is all true. ALL OF IT!!! The gerbal part is true, ask Richard Geere.

Tell Me you think all Arabs are 'Evil Doers' and Teh-ra-rits and that Fuhreners are destroying America. Tell me that you damn republican pig.

This man gave his life, and the woman in here, another darky, gave her man's life.

What did any of the foul mouthed, hate spewing, racist meth head creeps that we have seen at Palin/McCain's racist rally's give to any of us, other than more headaches and problems. I'm a vegetarian, 15 years strong, but I'd take a fucking bite out of these ass's right about now.

Kareem Rashad Sultan Khan, a moment of silence for you and yours. May your soul find unfolding in the everness of life.

I better not run into a fucking retard today. Sometimes I wish Obama really was a Muslim, just so the repignant crowd really could have spilled milk to cry over, and then hopefully, some of them would have a heart attack.

Palin's cry for a 'City Upon a Hill' scares the shit/shite out of me. Wasn't that the line used by Puritan witch hunters???? Like back in the 1600's and 1700's and 1800's. Really. Look it up.

WTF?

Why is the world so Flagged up? Sarah Palin? What gives.... City Upon a Hill? and who builds this city empress?

Thank the constitution's writers that Bush/Dick are out. I can't even continue. I'll see you later.